Two years ago this month, I quit my job of 11 years and walked away from two decades of full time employment, to start up my own business. That means that I’ve already been self-employed for 10% of my working life and feel like I’ve achieved so much, and yet so little.
I’ve learned several new skills which would have remained on a seldom-visited wish list, had I not taken the leap. For example, I can take my camera off ‘A for automatic’ and take decent photos for the first time; I have learned how to build a social media presence and have been hired to give lectures to undergraduates on blogging; I can give salon-grade facials and apply makeup to a professional standard.
And yet, for all this self-development which I’m hugely proud of, I feel guilt, frustration and am yet to achieve anywhere near a regular income. There are weeks when I’m chasing my tail, writing sponsored posts, attending events, working on the day job of recruitment… and then nothing. Weeks go by with no new opportunities, I spend the previous month’s earnings (and then some), and the sense of doom increases.
I’ve read so many books and articles about the benefits of self-employment. The gurus say we should quit our day jobs and just do what we love. Apparently I only have to take the next e-course, follow the formula and I’ll be rich beyond my wildest dreams.
I would place myself at the glass-half-full end of the optimism scale, but I don’t think there are enough people talking honestly about how difficult it is to be self-employed.
The thing is, all of the benefits of self-employment can be just as easily described as drawbacks. Here are just eight of them:
8 reasons to love and hate being self-employed:
1.I love working from home
I have a lovely home office, overlooking our willow tree. I can hear birdsong and a distant cricket match. I don’t have to commute. I can go to work in my slippers. I practice yoga in the hallway during my lunch hour, in my pants. I can make tea without asking a room full of people if they take sugar. I’m beginning to sound smug, but you get the picture.
I’ve also been able to keep a close eye on our building project over the last couple of months, saving so many potential wrong turns.
1.I hate working from home
So much goes on here that I was oblivious to when I commuted to an office every day. If one more delivery man asks me to take in a parcel for a neighbour, I will scream! No caller, I have not recently been in a traffic accident that wasn’t my fault! Yeah, sure I’ll get the car serviced and pick up the dry cleaning. It’s not like I have anything better to do!!
And as for the building work. Some days there have been 11 builders on site simultaneously and I’ve felt more like a foreman than a business woman.
2.I love the independence
I can choose the direction my business takes. Two years ago, I described myself as a makeup artist; then I had a virtual skincare shop; now I’m a lifestyle blogger/recruitment consultant – two career paths that might not naturally fit, but somehow work together.
I could decide to take a completely different direction tomorrow if I feel like it. I’ve already taken the scariest decision, leaving permanent employment. I don’t have anything to lose.
2.I hate the independence
With independence comes insecurity. It’s all well and good going in all these different directions, it’s fun, interesting and makes me a more well-rounded person. But where’s the next pay-cheque coming from and when am I going to be able to afford to put money into my pension again?
I can spend days procrastinating and postponing a project and no one’s going to take me to task over it. Which is not good for business and makes me feel guilty. No one is telling me what direction to take, so am I making the wrong decisions? Would it be better for my family and our finances if I went back to “work”? What am I contributing exactly?
3.I do everything myself
I am Chief Operating Officer, Chief Financial Officer, Chief Technology Officer and Chief Marketing Officer in my own little world. I’ve had to learn to do all of these things, with a lot of help from friends and experts. How liberating and satisfying to be in control of every part of my working life.
3.I do everything myself
God, how I hate sorting out my receipts at the end of the month. That hour I spent trying to sort out the paper jam in my printer? I’ll never get that back. And chasing invoices… I just can’t.
4.I love being in control of my diary
Despite being a director and being told I had autonomy by my last employer, I know that my diary was scrutinized when I wasn’t in the office and every hour had to be accounted for. Now, I take the kids to school every day, so if someone wants to speak to me before 9am, they’ll just have to wait. I’m also at the school gates to pick them up in the afternoon. The next couple of hours are spent with them and preparing dinner for the family. I can pick up work where I left off after dinner, or over the weekend.
We’re saving a small fortune on childcare and I’m there to see my kids grow up.
4.I hate being in control of my diary
Being at school twice a day gives me a comparatively short working day. When clients want to see me at pick-up time, I have to call on friends for childcare favours. In reality, if I need to work once the kids are back from school, I just have to plonk them in front of the TV and hope they don’t interrupt that client call. I’m not giving 100% to either my work, or my family.
Here comes the guilt again…
5.I love being in control of my annual leave
I don’t have to check with colleagues if I can take a day off or go on holiday. As long as the hubster and kids are available, we can just go.
5.I hate being in control of my annual leave
I never take a day off. I haven’t earned it yet. We’re going on holiday for ten days in the summer and I have no one to send my handover notes to.
6.I love the responsibility
If I have a great month, that’s all down to me.
6.I hate the responsibility
If I have a crap month, that’s all down to me.
7.I love the unlimited earning potential
When a client pays their invoice, I pay it straight into my bank account. I don’t have to give 90% of it to my boss. The only limit on my earning potential is my time (see point 4) and my ability (see point 3).
7.I hate the unlimited earning potential
Oh yeah, when’s that going to happen?
8.I love solitude
When I’m not out at meetings, I’m on my own at home. I enjoy my own company. I don’t miss the endless requests for help from everyone in the office. I like the absence of music that isn’t to my taste. I was never very good at the water-cooler chat and, being relieved of any management responsibility means I’ll never have to do another appraisal. Yay!
8.I hate solitude
For 11 years my social life revolved around my work colleagues. I still see many of them, but it takes effort and planning. If I didn’t have a recruitment business for which networking is essential, I could easily become a recluse.
This isn’t meant to be a one woman pity-party. It’s just very easy, given the propaganda about self-employment, to believe that leaving a permanent job is a no-brainer. Every benefit of self-employment has a flip-side.
As it happens, I’m enjoying being independent much more than being employed and my love of solitude and structure have probably rendered me unemployable now anyway.
It’s just not for everyone.
What do you think? Do my experiences sound familiar to you? Please leave me a comment below. Vx
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26 Comments
Jules
Great post VJ, and as you say, it’s good to hear the honest perspective re the realities of being self-employed rather than the rosy pictures of constant success and joy experienced through that independent way of working. From an outsiders perspective, you seem to be nailing it, and are setting a great ‘alternative’ working example to your boys (and others) while being able to truly enjoy and spend time with them. Better to have braved it and to have achieved and experienced what you have in the last 2 yrs, rather than to still be there, knee deep in appraisals, office politics and a lack of lunchtime yoga! Xx
Vicki
Thanks Jules. I certainly don’t miss those appraisals and having to tell people not to wear their slippers at work. 😉 Vx
Sarah
I think you perfectly captured the struggle of working for yourself. I still work part-time for someone else because I’m nervous about taking the full plunge. My parents are business owners and have always worked for themselves. I have seen their struggles and it feels like they are never away from work. I think I’ll have to find a good work/life balance before I can make the full commitment.
Vicki
Hi Sarah, thank you. My parents were also business owners, which made me think long and hard about following the self-employment route. It certainly has its stresses, particularly if you’re managing other people, but for me the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Vx
Nora
Great post! I find it really interesting to read about this topic because tomorrow is my first day working part-time. I just left my full-time job to have more hours to build my blog (and do some studies). I will be concentrating 29 hours to my actual work and the rest can be used for building my social media audience and starting to learn more about becoming (at least partly) self-employed. I can believe it’s sometimes hard to be always the only one in charge of everything but I would on the other hand love the freedom and the fact I could work from wherever I wish and when I like, no more office hours! 🙂
Thanks for sharing your experience!
Best, Nora / http://dreamerachiever.com
Vicki
Hi Nora, congratulations on making that first step. Part time working is a great compromise and I hope you find a healthy and happy work/life balance. Good luck. Vx
Lorna Webley
Love your recent blog, and ditto all points except for the last one. I think after 17 years of freelancing ‘solitude’ goes to the top of my list. I love the fact that I can just get my head down and crack on with work if working from home. No office politics to deal with and not having to deal with ‘who’s making the tea’ particularly as I don’t really drink the stuff. I’ve learned to really appreciate my friends and social life. And, as I love meeting new people, I seek out new friends at various evening classes!! Despite the worry of freelancing work going quiet sometimes, I wouldn’t have it any other way! x
Vicki
Hi Lorna, you’re a great example of making a success of self-employment – not just professionally, but from a personal fulfillment perspective too. Vx
Jo Long
I agree with so many of your points Vicki, it is tough being self employed but I wouldn’t give it up to go back in to the back biting corporate world – yes, I miss the regular salary income however I love my freedom and I’m lucky enough that it’s only my own expectation to earn that causes pressure!!
Vicki
Thanks Jo. We’ve been on quite a journey together over the last few years and both of us have taken several different turns. But I wouldn’t change a thing. Thanks for being the catalyst! Vx
Claire
Nail. Head. I started out on my own almost six years ago and never ever expected to be where I am now, and so much happier outside of the strictures of the 9-5 (OK, publishing was more 9-whenever) routine. I still regularly wake up thinking ‘what the heck have I done and what if global economies collapse/people don’t like my writing anymore/my clients jump ship for a cheaper option/the apocalypse happens (OK, so that would scupper us all, but you’ll know the feeling), but, at the moment, I wouldn’t swap it for anything. It’s also enabled me to spend quality time with family in times of need/bereavement, get a handle on my health (work in progress) and work from a sun lounger in a far-flung country on occasion whilst pretending I’m actually behind a desk in a windowless office. Love your perspective and look forward to reading more.
Vicki
Thanks Claire. I haven’t yet managed to achieve the working from a sun-lounger, but as soon as the builders leave, I’m going to relocate to the garden – does that count? Totally agree that it helps when there are family issues and people who need help. Thanks for commenting. Vx
Joanne Mallon
Like you say, there are two sides to being self-employed and it is certainly not all a bed of roses. I have been self-employed for a long time and have started to miss the sense of connection from working in a team. But then when I took a few office/team-based jobs I really missed being in complete control of my own time. I guess aiming for a sense of balance is important.
Vicki
Hi Joanne. I found it really difficult to get a sense of balance when I was employed, but just accepted that was the way it had to be. Taking the plunge was scary, but life feels much more balanced now – if still a little precarious financially. Vx
Solange Noël
I feel the same things. The loneliness and do not know if I will able to have a salary at the end of the year is the hardest things.
My new activity is to accomodate some people who want to improve their French in immersion. If I can develop my activity, I will never be alone and I will be in good spirits. ((sorry for my poor English, I am French).
Vicki
Hi Solange thanks for your reply – and your English is much better than my French! Good luck. Vx
Wendy Shooter
Perfectly articulated Vicki! I will share it with some SE friends – and some who are thinking about it. You could turn it into an e-course…tee hee
Vicki
Hi Wendy, ha! Good idea, always looking for another string to my bow. Vx
Isabel O
Being self employed is my dream. I have aspergers and various mental health problems and they have always interfered with regular employment, making things really difficult. I would so love to work for myself. It’s just finding my niche and making that first brave jump.
How scary was it on a scale of 1 to ‘I’m screaming my head off in fright’? To quit a regular job and make that leap? I’m so in awe of people who have actually done it, so high five to you. 🙂
Vicki
Hi Isabel, it was scary – probably a 7 – but I was definitely in a place where staying put didn’t really feel like an option anymore. Plus I had the support of my friends and family which is hugely important. You’ll know when you’re ready. Good luck! Vx
Esther Zimmer
Vicki, I’m a little late to the party on this one as I’m behind on my blog reading – but great post!
We need far more honestly about what it takes to be self-employed. I think if more people understood the pros and cons, less would beat themselves up or even give up, when things don’t go as planned. I love what you wrote about the advice on doing what you love – it sounds lovely in principle – but the reality is different and besides, sometimes doing what you love means being clever about how you do it. Plus sometimes it actually takes a few tries at different things to discover your passion anyway!
Funny, isolation is my favourite thing about working for myself. I like being on my own a little too much, I guess it helps that I don’t have children so socialising in the evenings doesn’t require too much planning.
Personally I’m tired of all the programmes asking me to pay $2k for a course that is going to turn me into a six-figure success story overnight too. Although I saw a post in my B-School alumni group saying if we’re ‘only’ going of six figures, we’ve ‘obviously’ got money blocks. Give me a break. Yes, I’m going to have a six-figure business one day, but what drives me first and foremost is the desire to create something meaningful and have the freedom to travel and work from anywhere. Lots of work to do yet!
Esther xx
Vicki
Hi Esther, I’m so glad you agree. I think being self-employed means being able to do what we love alongside doing what we have to do – it’s a compromise. As long as we have balance we know it’s worth all the downsides. Lovely to hear from you. Vx
Laura swoboda
Thank you! You make me feel less alone!
Vicki
Aww thank you! Vx
Vicky
So so true. I shall have to share this as it must resonate deeply with others to.
Vicki
Thanks Vicky. Vx