More musings of a 40-something woman

Still musing
Following on from my earlier blog about the Fabulous 40s, here are some more musings. I think this may become a series…
I’m a child trapped in a woman’s body
Mr Maven and I often muse that we still feel like children. There are certain milestones to overcome before we become adults; one obvious one being having children of our own – which we’ve done.
The next one was ‘knocking through’ (ie knocking a wall down between rooms). We did that in 2006. So we have moved the goalposts again and now we will be proper adults when we build an extension. We’ve just received planning permission but we haven’t laid any bricks yet – so, we’re still children.
Please don’t tell the kids. Or the authorities.
I still feel like a fraud
I started my first job over 20 years ago and remember feeling like a fraud awaiting discovery; that moment when a superior would storm into the office and shout “we have an imposter in our midst claiming to be a PR professional,” when in fact she can barely walk and chew gum simultaneously.
I still feel like I’m winging it. Does that feeling ever go away? More on that imposter syndrome here.
I am so easily distracted
I recently read a book called Mindfulness by Gill Hasson about living in the moment: learning to experience the ‘now’ to increase our enjoyment of life. It was recommended to me by a fabulous friend who could see that my brain was going off in too many different directions, making me, well direction-less. It was a good call.
But I just couldn’t concentrate on the book! I am so easily distracted by social media, the beep of a text message or chime of a new Twitter follower, that I could not be mindful about mindfulness.
I need (self) help
Talking of which, I’ve turned to self-development books in a big way. This, I’m assured, is what happens when you strike out on your own. Moving away from the corporate pack as I did earlier this year has made me re-evaluate my purpose and my personality. Books about taking action and positive thinking have become my bedtime reading of choice.
Gone are the shelves stacked with fiction, replaced with tomes about being a ‘free-range human’ and ‘the law of attraction’. I have found there is much to be learned from such books. I’d love to hear your book recommendations.
Radio 4
No longer just for my parents, and strangely soporific playing quietly on the iPhone next to my pillow at night (but not too late obviously).
Do you feel like a grown-up yet? I’d love to hear from you, what you’re reading, listening to, and what you want to be when you grow up. Please leave me a comment below.
Much love, Vx
Esther Zimmer
Oh Vicki, I recognise myself in some of your musings, number one in particular! I thought maybe that was just me feeling that way because I don’t have children, but from what you’ve written, it seems they make no difference after all. I did laugh about your distraction issues though (kindly, of course) – have you read Arianna Huffington’s book, Thrive? A bit American in places (I think I can say that, being married to one!) but still an overall good read. Have a lovely weekend xx
Vicki
Hi Esther I’ll add that book to the long reading list if it’s one you recommend. X
Lisa
I’ve been looking into mindfulness too. Have you seen the be mindful website though? Omg, it’s so bright and garish, I felt more stressed after looking at the site than I did before!!!