Put the bloody phone away!

Here comes a rant and I’m afraid I’m going to come across as a bit of a hypocrite.
I am a BIG fan of modern communication channels. I’m have four (yes, four!) Twitter accounts and tweet several times a day; I’ve got a Facebook page associated with my blog; another one for my makeup business and keep in touch with my friends on my personal profile. I’ve even started Instagramming my lunch. I struggled to come to terms with the lack of any phone or data signal when we were in Norfolk last week and checked my emails as soon as we were within range during days out.
But sometimes all this connectivity makes me mad.
Last night I went out for dinner with a friend. On the table next to us a family of four were having a meal. Half of them were interacting only with their mobile phones, rather than with each other. It was the parents, who must have been in their late 40s, who were glued to their glowing screens – not the teenagers. All four ate in silence.
It’s the modern version of the ‘dining dead’.
I understand that parents of young kids need to have their phones with them just in case the babysitter calls, but these parents were with their children.
I’ve talked before about how difficult it must have been for my parents to have no way of contacting me while I travelled during my gap year. But as a society we seem to have reached the other extreme. We have so many ways to communicate with each other, it’s become impossible to switch off.
Last night, all around us groups of people were eating with their phones on the table in front of them. To me, this sends out a clear message that someone more important/interesting/fanciable might try to make contact. It’s the equivalent of constantly looking over someone’s shoulder while they’re talking to you.
I admit I find it difficult not to check my phone for more than an hour at a time, but I am determined not to check my messages at the dinner table. My kids aren’t old enough for mobile phones yet, but I dread the inevitable squabbles about putting the phones away.
If you have kids with mobile phones, I’d love to know how you manage their ‘screen time’. Please post your comments below or on one of my many social media channels!
manikreigun
I am afraid I am guilty of overusing my phone at the most awkward time. Plus when my batteries are all dead, I feel so helpless! I guess finding a balance will be hard, but I somehow ‘cut’ my phone usage time in taking off most of the apps that are just for leisure or ‘time-wasters.’
Vicki
I know the feeling when the battery is about to die. I’ve been making a concerted effort this weekend to only take out my phone when I’m on my own.
Esther Zimmer
Oh Vicki…FOUR Twitter accounts! I’m in complete awe of you, I think you should start another business called ‘Social Media Maven’ and teach the rest of us how to manage it all!
I completely agree with this rant, though! Despite how it may appear I do think social media is a wonderful thing, but it’s like credit cards – good if you’re able to manage them – not the other way around.
Personally I don’t have any issue with being offline for days – that’s my dream! Sadly, it’s getting less and less possible with my business but you can’t have everything.
xx
Vicki
I didn’t say I was able to manage it all Esther, although I’m pleased that I give that impression. Vx
Nichole Goodland
I was always on my phone and I hated it, but I couldn’t help myself. I recently lost my phone and have a cheap one that only makes calls and you know what, it is much nicer. I actually spent an evening watching a film with my husband and it was bliss because I wasn’t distracted at all. 🙂 x
Vicki
Hi Nichole, I think downgrading technology is a really good idea. Having a bit of separation between work and play is really important. Vx
Lisa Barrett
Hi Vicki…erm, maybe that family having dinner at the table next to you the other day was me and my family! I do hope not. I so agree with you though. My husband and I go bonkers when we are out for a meal with the kids (21, 19 and 15) and they’re all glued to the phone. And now…it’s us too! Especially now that my blog is getting busier and my husband has just started a new business…it’s 24/7 techno and I wish it wasn’t.
That said, we’ve made a new rule, when we eat together, all of the phones are turned off and go in the middle of the table. For the first few minutes you can sense us all itching to get them back, but after a while, it’s fine. It’s really only the 15 year old who acts as if her arm has been cut off – but then she’s like that all the time anyway – she’s 15! haha.
Now, Stressed Husband and I have decided we are going to try and bring in a Silent Sunday to our lives where we go completely no mobile or laptop for a WHOLE DAY! I’m looking forward to it but don’t think we’ll manage to get the kids to agree to it 🙂
Love your blog by the way!
Lisaxx @ukglowology
Vicki
Hi Lisa, love your reply. By the time my kids get to that age they’ll probably have texts streaming directly into their retinas. I think you’re very brave to introduce Silent Sunday – I like the idea of it but I think I’d be the first to crumble. Let us know how it goes! Best wishes, Vx
Zoe
This post is on point! Yes, our phones are indeed controlling our lives. A few months ago, my husband and I went out for a meal. We had not been for a while. On the other table were young people probably in their mid 20s all on their phones with the occassional nod and few words being spoken between them. I was shocked. Same with the train in the morning. Everyone is swiping, pressing, typing …on their phone. This is a new world we are living in where the phone is the master. Having 4 twitter accounts…kudos to you!!!! How do you do it, lol? I find social media really is fast becoming a full time job for today. Thanks for this post
Vicki
Thanks Zoe. It is practically a full time job. And I haven’t even got started with Pinterest! That’s next on the list. Vx